We honestly only cut our son’s hair once to twice a year… Why, you ask? Well, if you have a kid that goes into sensory overload or have ever witnessed a colossal sensory overload break down, then you know why. If not… consider yourself lucky and hope you don’t ever have to experience it.
Everet is very sensitive to sounds. The buzzing of clippers sends him into absolute total chaos. I am sure the neighbors assume we are killing him and at times, I feel as if we are. I also question myself if it is important to get a haircut and try to convince myself that long hair is always “in”. But reality always takes hold at some point and at that point the clippers come out.
He has the most beautiful curly hair that should have been reserved for a little girl! But in the Williams Syndrome Community most of the individuals affected by the genetic disorder have curly hair. No only is it part of the syndrome, it is part of my side of the family. I can say he came by it honestly. You may be thinking to yourself that i’m crazy for cutting his curls, but everyone needs a change now again, right? We call it Everet’s summer cut. He is super hot natured, so we take if off in the summer and let it grow in the winter.
Well this year was tougher than most. My husband cuts his own hair and has always cut Everet’s hair. It usually takes us a couple of tries and a couple of days to get all the stragglers, but we get them! Eventually… After taking our first try at his haircut and wrestling a wild alligator, the cut was done for the time being. He screamed to the point of exhaustion on top of making himself practically throw up. As I got him out of the chair to comfort him, his little body was shaking so hard I could hardly hold him.
No amount of distraction helps. NONE.
I had asked my husband to leave a little on top, so I could style it a little and keep a few of the curls. He granted my wish and I thought he looked pretty good, considering….
When I picked him up that day from school, I was greeted by one of his teaching assistants (that was a hairdresser by trade) loudly portraying to me how awful his hair was and kept telling me to let her fix it. (In my mind demanding that she fix it) I gathered myself as best I could and calmly tried to explain what we have to do to get a haircut, etc. She wasn’t having any of it and continued on and on and on and on and on…… I felt like a tiny little mouse backed into a corner. I quickly grabbed both kids and their stuff for the day and made the fastest exit I have ever made.
I was so mad at myself… I have never “backed” down, yet I knew in my heart she meant no harm. She is a sweet person and loves my kids, maybe that is why I didn’t explode. Truth is, it breaks my heart every time we cut his hair. Not because I am attached to his hair, but because I feel we are torturing him and he is tortured enough on a day to day basis without his parents (his safety nets) inflicting more.
The drive home was quiet. I think the kids could feel my tension. Once I got them home and settled so I could cook dinner, I sat in the kitchen out of sight and cried. Feeling sorry for myself and feeling like a blubbering idiot while replaying the scene in my head over and over again. Of course I text a friend with a similar sensory kid issue and let my misery love her company. She quickly sided with me and her inner momma bear came out. I felt her comforting hug through her text and was able to move on with our evening.
Until… Until I got a text from the teaching assistant. I didn’t even want to read it.
She of course apologized and told me she was sincere when she offered to fix it. She said she didn’t mean to “come at me” in that manner and the other teaching assistants told her she came on a little strong. I swallowed my pride, thanked her, and invited her over the end of the week to fix it.
Everet was so excited to see her outside of school and actually did pretty well for her. Much better than he has EVER done for us. She has offered to continue to come and help out whenever we need it which is amazing and has also done my hair in my own home when I was in a pinch.
It is so easy to take the little things, like a haircut, for granted.
We have learned that not much is simple with Everet and this journey has been a HUGE learning experience for all of us. Take my advice and celebrate those simple things and little victories. Because for people like Everet, not much is simple and there is definitely no “little” victory, they are BIG and we celebrate BIG!
Painting Butterflies 